


It Keeps Coming Back To This...

by paper_back_writer



Series: Not Looking 'Verse [6]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dom/sub Undertones, Family Issues, High School, M/M, No Sexy Times In This One Sorry, Pie, Werewolf Discrimination, Werewolf Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 20:58:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paper_back_writer/pseuds/paper_back_writer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen wake up, mated...and all they know about each other are their first names. </p><p> Jared is lying to Jensen...but maybe Jensen's not being entirely honest either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Keeps Coming Back To This...

Jared caught a glimpse of his watch as he tried to simultaneously stuff his laptop into his messenger bag, while lifting it over his shoulder. He didn't need to take it but it usually went with him to the office and he was trying his best not to raise Jensen's suspicions. He cussed silently when he saw the time. He wasn't late but it was going to be close if the traffic was bad. Plus his satnav was an evil bitch that seemed to find perverse pleasure in sending him the scenic route whenever he was in a hurry.  
  
He looked back at his desk as he walked out of the office, just to triple check he hadn't forgotten anything, and almost slammed straight into his mate.  
  
Startled, Jensen jumped back a step. He looked half asleep, face soft, his hair mussed, his body swamped in one of Jared's teeshirts and the grey sweatpants, which he'd taken to wearing around the house. He sucked in a breath and cursed under it, dramatically clutching his hand at his chest. "Jesus, Jay!"  
  
"Shit. Sorry. You okay?" Jared hastily reached out and cupped Jensen's jaw briefly. The words and the touch were perfunctory and they both felt it. Guilt swept over Jared as he immediately turned and hurried down the hall. "I'm running late. I promise I'll make it up to you later."  
  
Jensen shuffled into the kitchen behind him and muttered, "That's what you said yesterday."  
  
It wasn't accusatory but Jared felt the sting. He racked his mind for something to say, something that wouldn't just make him feel less guilty but would actually comfort his mate.  
  
His work hours had been gradually increasing, even though Jim had honored his promise to keep Jared off the road. Jensen said he was fine with it, but it was increasingly hard on them both. Their mate bond was still new and separation for any length of time was physically exhausting, verging on painful. Jared knew they couldn't go on like this.  
  
He pulled his jacket on and struggled to find the words, watching Jensen's shoulders as he emptied the last of the coffee into a mug, wishing more than anything he could make this easier on him.  
  
Jared paused, clutching his bag and trying not to think about the time. He opened his mouth to speak but Jensen spun around, looking up at him with pleading eyes.  
  
"I'm sorry, I...oh god, I'm just in a shitty mood. I don't mean to take it out on you." Jensen walked over and put his arms around Jared, sliding his hands under Jared's jacket. Jared clung to him hard, pressing his mouth against Jensen's temple. There was something a little desperate about it that would seem unwarranted to anyone outside their situation.  
  
Jensen tilted his head up and kissed him, letting his tongue dip briefly into Jared's mouth before pulling his whole body away. Jared instantly missed the contact and leant forward, chasing Jensen's body heat but his mate braced his hand against Jared's chest and shook his head. "You'll be late. I know you feel bad, you fucking stink of it, but you need to work and I'll be here when you get home."  
  
Jared swallowed and stepped back, disappointed when Jensen's hand fell away from him to hang at his side. Jared smiled softly. "It won't always be like this. I promise."  
  
Jensen laughed. "Yeah, yeah. Out with you. I have a hard day of mediocre TV in front of me." He was smiling as he ushered Jared out the door but there was a hint of sadness under it that made Jared's stomach churn more than usual when he shut the door behind him.  
  
When he got into the car he slammed the door shut harder than necessary, the sound echoing around the parking garage like a gunshot. He was lying to Jensen. It had seemed like a good idea at the time but now he felt like it was ripping his heart out keeping his mate in the dark. He just wanted to be sure before he talked to him. Jared pulled out into the street, turning the wheel with the heel of one hand, and headed out of the city.

 

~•~

  
  
The journey was easy. It wasn't as far as it looked when he'd surreptitiously checked the address on google maps the night before, and for once even the satnav seemed to take pity on him, although Jared still felt like crushing the life out of the thing with it's smug, _"You have arrived at your destination"_ as he pulled into the parking lot.  
  
The building in front of him didn't so much loom up, as nestle down. Jared's high school years had been less than fun, so his subconscious always conjured up bleak institutional architecture and prison rules in the yard. This looked more like something Martha Stewart might have had a hand in.  
  
The main building was smaller than he'd imagined. There seemed to be quite a few new additions, what looked like a brand new extension of mostly glass, and a couple of smaller buildings that had the same white render as the main school. The spaces in between were grassy, well-kept with plenty of neat trees and clean benches.  
  
The few kids milling around looked similarly bright and breezy. There was no dress code or uniform by the looks of it. Jared passed a couple of girls sitting on the long, wide flight of shallow steps up to the main building. They looked up at him with curiosity. He smiled slightly and kept moving, grimacing a little to himself when he heard them erupt into laughter behind him and wondered when the hell he'd gotten so old.  
  
Jared gave his name at the reception and squished his large frame into the horribly uncomfortable chair outside the Principle's office, feeling fifteen again and offering the same silent prayer that they weren't going to call his dad. He offered a thousand thanks to the heavens when the door opened moments later and a guy in a blue suit beckoned him in.  
  
The Principle shook his hand and Jared was surprised how confident, verging on intimidating, the guy seemed, despite the fact that he barely came up to Jared's shoulder. His face was gentle and softly lined, his hair and beard slightly wild, Jared thought, for a person in his position but the way he moved spoke with authority, Jared had to let go of the nagging doubt that his potential new boss smoked weed on his lunch hour.  
  
Jared smiled politely as he made himself comfortable in one of the chairs on the visitor side of the desk. The office was neat, despite the stacks of files on the desk, and filing cabinets, and windowsills. The desk had some personal touches, a potted fern and a framed family portrait, but the planner in front of the computer had some of the neatest, most organized notes that Jared had ever seen.  
  
"Mr Padalecki, thank you for coming."  
  
"Oh, Jared, please. Thank you for seeing me."  
  
The Principle's smile was warm. "Well, in that case it's Rob. Unless there's a student in the room, and then it's Mr Benedict or Principle Benedict. We try to keep it pretty casual around here but there's a limit." He sat back in his chair and folded his hands in his lap, which made Jared instantly feel a little more relaxed himself. "So, Jared. Coach tells me you used to play professionally?"  
  
Jared shifted slightly in his chair, remembering finally that this was an interview and he should really act like it. He cleared his throat. "Um, yes. A few years in the minors and then a season and a half in the majors. I was injured out but stayed with the team as a scout."  
  
Rob nodded, attentively. "And so why the career change?"  
  
Jared smiled. "I recently married..." Internally, he fist bumped himself for not stumbling over the word. “I really want to settle down and not be away from home so much. And it doesn't feel so much like a career change so much as assuming a different role. Working with the kids has always been the best part of the job for me so..." He didn't feel the need to finish, just shrugged and echoed the Principle's friendly smile.  
  
"And what about the teaching role? I'm assuming Mr Beaver mentioned that to you?" Jared nodded as Rob opened the file sitting in front of him and pulled down the glasses that were sitting on his head to read a few lines. "You majored in Art History?"  
  
"And English." Jared peered over the desk at the paperwork, and tried not to sound too defensive about it. "I don't have my teaching certification yet, of course."  
  
Rob pulled the glasses off his face and shook his head. "Of course. That's fine. If we could afford it, I'd be happy to just have you here coaching but I'm afraid you'll have to pay your way in the classroom too. If you decide to take the position, that is."  
  
Jared nodded and felt some of the tension drain out of him. He'd expected to have to fight for the job but it looked like they really wanted him there after all. Of course, the burst of confidence was short lived.  
  
Rob cleared his throat. "I hate to have to...it says here you're an Alpha?"  
  
Jared bristled. He couldn't help it. It always came back to this eventually. Fortunately the Principle looked as unhappy about having to ask the question, as Jared felt about answering it. Jared just nodded in response.  
  
Rob shrugged and tried to break the tension. "Well, about 25% of our students are Weres. And we have four betas and an omega on staff so...do you think that...I mean..."  
  
Jared suddenly felt really sorry for the guy. He was clearly horribly uncomfortable with having to say it. "That sound's fine. If there are any issues, I'm pretty sure we can work through it. Plus, as I said, I'm recently mated so that should hopefully make things more straight forward."  
  
Rob sat up. "Oh, _oh_. Sorry, I thought you said...yes, of course. Well, that does make a difference."  
  
For a moment, Jared thought he was going to have to discuss the ins and outs of Were dynamics in the workplace, but thankfully there was a knock on the door, and it opened behind him. He twisted in his seat, and smiled gratefully when he saw who it was.  
  
He stood as the Principle said, "Ah, Coach. You made it. You know Mr Padalecki, I think?"  
  
Steve Williams smiled widely. "I sure do. Nice to see you, Jay. Been a while."  
  
The coach looked older than the last time Jared had seen him, more silver in his dark hair and more lines on his face but still the same guy. And Jared still got the same flutter of hero worship in his chest too. Jared took his proffered hand and shook it warmly. "Yes, Sir. It has. Thank you for seeing me today."  
  
Steve laughed. "I think we're both a little old for you to be callin' me 'Sir'. If we're going to be working together, I think a first name basis is more appropriate. Plus, we don't want the team laughing you off the field, your first day." He laughed loud and deep at that, and Jared was suddenly hit with the memory of that sound, drifting up to his bedroom window on the summer nights when Steve and Jim would stay up drinking and shooting the shit until long after Jared fell asleep.  
  
"Rob, are you done with him for now? I'd like to show him around."  
  
The Principle looked like he was about to argue for a moment but then shook his head. "Yes. Sure. I guess you should go over...everything." He checked his watch. "How about we meet back here in one hour?"  
  
Jared nodded, and Steve clapped him on the back and led him away.  
  
  
They talked comfortably as Steve led him through the hallways, pointing out classrooms, the teachers lounge, the spot where different cliques seemed to congregate. Jared nodded and laughed, pleasantly surprised to find himself feeling relaxed by the atmosphere and Steve's lyrical voice.  
  
The first time Jim had introduced Jared to Steve, Jared's mouth dropped open so hard he thought it might leave a bruise on his chest. The fact that an honest-to-God, major league player was sitting in Jim's backyard, laughing at his dumb face was just too much. He didn't come around very often but when he did, they would inevitably end up on the lawn, Jared holding the bat over his shoulder while Steve corrected his stance, or huddled in front of a grainy video, Steve critiquing Jared's choice of play, while Jared winced at his gangly body surfing the dust and not making the plate.  
  
Jared smelt the locker room before they turned the corner. That teenage sweat stink that triggered a rush of nostalgia and sense memories so vivid, he could have sworn he was sixteen again. It was never a dirt thing. The scent was simply ingrained in the wooden benches and the tiled floors. When they walked out of the building onto the field, the effect was the same. The feel of the sun hitting his face, the snick of a bat hitting a ball, the effortful sounds of boys running fielding drills or taking turns at stepping up to bat, idle chatter, laughter and busy noise filling the air.  
  
The two men walked onto the field, Steve pointing out the various improvements that had been made since he had arrived there, and the other coach that they'd be working with, who stopped his gentle smiling instruction long enough to send a two fingered salute their way, before turning his attention back to adjusting the stance of the kid towering over him.  
  
Steve smiled. "DJ is a little...well, his teaching methods are a bit hippy for my taste but he works wonders with some of the kids." His voice slowed and trailed off towards the end, his attention piqued by the catcher springing up from his crouched position. Jared followed his gaze and saw the kid stalking angrily toward the pitcher who was smirking down at his glove.  
  
Steve muttered, "Ah, crap." and hurried toward them.  
  
The catcher yanked the mask from his face and started yelling at the pitcher as Steve and Jared approached. Jared couldn't quite make out what he was saying but he could see the rage in the boy's face. Steve was calling out to him to quit it. When the kid finally dragged his eyes away, it was Jared he looked at. Jared saw his eyes flash, just before he threw his mask and glove down hard at his feet and stormed back towards the locker room.  
  
Jared was surprised that Steve's attention remained on the pitcher. He followed the coach onto the diamond, trailing slowly toward the mound behind Steve but keeping an eye on the retreating figure to their left. Steve started chewing out the pitcher, a tall, broad-shouldered kid, who threw his arms wide in despair and pleaded innocence with the faintest afterglow of a smug smile on his lips.  
  
Jared stopped and bent down to retrieve the mask and glove, slapping the dust off them against his thigh. He caught Steve's eye and raised his eyebrows towards the locker room. Steve nodded without breaking his tirade, and Jared turned and walked away.  
  
The sound of fist versus locker greeted him, the metallic clang echoing around the room, painful even without Jared's were hearing. He stood quietly, leaning against the doorframe, and watched the kid taking his frustrations out on the furniture, his face red and twisted in rage, his floppy blonde hair soaked with sweat at the ends hitting his forehead every time he lunged at the locker.  
  
When he finally noticed Jared leaning in the doorway, his body stiffened and he braced his forearms against the locker, letting his head drop down, legs spread as if Jared was about to frisk him or something. Jared recognized the position from some faddish "How to tame your Were" type manual that had come out when he was in college, written by humans, for humans. Neither of which knew any better. There had been actual book burnings.  
  
Jared pushed himself off the doorframe and held out the glove and mask hanging loosely in his hand. "I think you dropped these."  
  
The kid squeezed his eyes shut, the rage dissipating, replaced with despair in his voice. "Keep 'em."  
  
Jared sighed and dropped them on the bench as he walked passed the kid. The boy tensed as he approached, then seemed confused when he walked away. Jared could feel eyes on him as he went to the vending machine in the corner. He pulled some change from his pocket and two bottles of water clunked down into the trap. When he turned around the kid was openly staring at him. Jared tried not to smile. He gestured with one of the water bottles to the bench the boy was standing over. "Sit."  
  
The boy unfurled himself slowly from the stress position and sank to the wooden bench, warily eyeing the bottle Jared was holding out. It took a second or two before he gingerly reached out and allowed Jared to put it in his hand. Jared sat next to him, keeping a little distance and using the glove and mask as a barrier between them. Jared cracked the seal on his bottle and sat back against the lockers. He brought the bottle to his lips and asked, "What did he do?" before taking a drink.  
  
The boy huffed out a laugh and leant forward, swiping the condensation from the bottle with both thumbs. "What makes you think it wasn't something I did?"  
  
Jared shrugged. "What _you_ did was lose your temper. Which is stupid. But I get it."  
  
The boy twisted the cap off the bottle like he wished he was wringing someone's neck. "He never fucking stops. Never. And I can take it in class and in here...but on the field...he never listens! No matter what play I call, he deliberately pitches something different. Every fucking time! I don't give a shit that he doesn't like me but I swear he's trying to get me kicked off the team and there's no way...just no way."  
  
Jared could feel the rage welling up again, and when he heard the plastic bottle cracking in the kid's fist, he reached over and placed his hand on the back of the boy's neck, gripping him tightly. The kid flinched but relaxed into it. It was a risk, a bit too familiar but Jared could see he needed it.  
  
The kid sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."  
  
Jared shrugged, giving one more squeeze before taking his hand away. "It's okay. I know how hard it can be. But you have to find a way to deal with it. The only person who can get you kicked off the team is you. You gotta find a way to stop him from getting to you."  
  
  
The kid smiled and sat back, nodding. "I know." He took a drink of water and then looked coyly at Jared. "You're Jared Padalecki."  
  
Jared laughed. "Well. A long time ago."  
  
The kid beamed. "I saw you play." Jared shot him a doubtful look but the kid twisted in his seat to face him. "No, I did. My...my dad used to take me to games before...He was a real big fan. I remember him ranting when you lost out on MVP to Bryant."  
  
Jared recapped his water bottle a little harder than necessary. "Yeah, well. It was a long time ago."  
  
The kid shifted back around, nodding and looking a little embarrassed before saying quietly, "I'm Issac."  
  
Jared smiled. "Nice to meet you, Issac." He held out his hand, and Issac blushed and smiled shyly as he awkwardly shook it.  
  
"Everything okay in here?"  
  
Jared and Issac looked up as Steve rounded the corner. Jared shrugged and held up his bottle. "Yup. All good, Coach."  
  
Steve looked between the two Weres and smiled. "Well, okay then. In that case, Lahey get your ass back on the field, son."

  
~•~

  
  
Jared sat in the car for a long while, his eyes closed, soaking up the sun blasting through the windshield, before he finally picked up his phone and started to dial.  
  
"Jim....I'm good...what are you doing tonight?"  
  
  
~•~  
  
  
When he got back to the apartment, he gave a wry smile at the fact that Jensen was indeed sat on the couch, wearing the same clothes as when he'd left this morning, watching a telenovella. He looked like he'd been there all day but Jared could smell cleaning products and the slight metallic hum coming from the office, indicating the computer had been on for a while. Jensen didn't take his eyes off the TV when Jared slumped down into the space next to him, just said, "You're back early." and slid his hand between Jared's thighs.  
  
Jared covered the hand with his own and laced their fingers together, keeping his eyes on the TV too, and shrugged. "You speak Spanish?"  
  
Jensen made a noncommittal noise and gestured at the drama. A guy and a woman were arguing. She tried to leave, but he grabbed her by the upper arm and swung her around and clasped her to his chest.  
"It's not like you really need to. I remember some from school but it's not hard to follow."  
  
Jared nodded. "You eat yet?" Jensen kept his eyes on the screen, reached out and held up a giant bag of chips from the cushion next to him. Jared scoffed and shook his head when Jensen offered them. "I thought chips didn't count as food?"  
  
Jensen smiled and glanced at his mate. "Did I say that?" His eyes drifted back to the Javier's impassioned speech. "So, why are you home early? Did you get fired?"  
  
Jensen's voice was low and serious, and Jared was about to protest in the strongest possible terms that no, he had not been fired and why would he even think that, when he spotted Jensen's lips curling up. Instead, he dragged their joined hands up to his crotch. "Maybe. Want to console me?"  
  
Jensen smirked. He worked his fingers free, and palmed at the growing bulge in Jared’s suit pants. "Maybe. Although you're going to have to give me five minutes. I need to know if Maria is going to realize she's been banging twins this whole time."  
  
Jared coughed out a laugh and kissed the side of Jensen's head before he got to his feet. "Okay, but don't be too long." He started stripping off his jacket as he walked to the bedroom, calling back, "We're going out tonight."  
  
  
~•~  
  
  
Jensen stood beside him fiddling with the collar of his shirt until Jared bumped him with his shoulder, hissing out, "Will you stop twitching. It's gonna be fine."  
  
Jensen glared up at him. "Stop saying that, it's not helping."  
  
He let out a long breath and faced forward again, waiting for the door in front of them to open. It didn't. Jared was tempted to press the doorbell again, when there was a noise from within.  
  
Jensen whimpered and tugged at his collar again, hissing, "This is not what I thought you meant by 'going out'!"  
  
Jared straightened up as he heard the door being unlocked, and whispered back, "Well, we're not in the house, are we?"  
  
Finally, the door was flung open. A tiny woman in a red shift dress, with the brightest smile was on the other side.  
  
"You're here!" She looked between them both, before going right to Jared and throwing her arms around his neck. "Hi, Stranger! Where you been keeping yourself?"  
  
Jared hugged her back the best he could while trying to keep the foil covered plate in his hand from dropping. "Hey, Kim. Been kinda busy."  
  
She slapped him on the chest as she pulled away and raised her eyebrows at him. "I bet." Jared rolled his eyes at her, but she was already glancing at Jensen expectantly. "Well..."  
  
It took Jared a second before he realized. "Oh God, yes, sorry. Um, Kim, this is my husband, Jensen. Jen, this is Kim, my...well. Kim."  
  
Jensen managed to smile while still retaining the look of sheer terror on his face. Kim beamed at him, her whole body seemingly trying to keep a burst of excitement inside.  
  
She looked up at Jared and sighed. "You did good, Jay. Real good." Jared rolled his eyes again but felt a flush of embarrassment and pride color his cheeks. Kim gestured with her head towards Jensen and asked, "Is it okay if...?"  
  
Jared smirked, nodding as he took a step away. Kim wrapped her arms around Jensen and squeezed him, saying softly, "Welcome to the family, Hon." Jensen stared, terrified, at Jared for a moment then seemed to relax into the embrace, smiling coyly when Kim pulled away.  
  
Kim sighed and looked lovingly at the pair, before stepping to the side and waving them in, declaring, "Well, what the hell are you standing there for? Get your butts in here! The old man's out the back, messing with the grill. I'll fetch him..." She pointed at the plate in Jared's hand, "You know what to do with that. And shoes off, Padalecki, just in case you forgot." She yelled the last bit over her shoulder as she disappeared into the house, and preceded to holler out for Jim.  
  
Jared laughed at Jensen's shell-shocked expression as he gazed after her. He bent and kissed him quickly on the neck, as he toed off his shoes and pushed them into line with the neat row of assorted footwear stowed along the hallway. "She's something, huh?'  
  
Jensen nodded slowly, then looked up questioningly. "Did she...did she really ask you if she could hug me? Or...?"  
  
Jared shrugged, feeling a little reluctant to answer. "It's a thing." Jensen clearly wasn't buying it, so Jared sighed out, "Yes, she asked permission to hug you. It's...Kim's been around Weres her whole life so she's good with the formal stuff. It's bad form to touch an Alpha's mate without asking first. It does make sense in a way, sometimes the wolf can get a little...oversensitive...about that stuff."  
  
Jared swallowed, feeling horrible about having to basically admit that his wolf thought of his mate as something to be jealously guarded, but Jensen's eyes were shining, and he was biting the inside of his mouth, trying not to laugh as he asked, "So you're saying...your wolf thinks your boss's wife wants to 'bad touch' me?"  
  
Jared shoulder checked him and tried not to smile. "Ah, shut up...and take off your shoes. She wasn't kidding."  
  
  
~•~  
  
  
Everything went fine. Better than fine. Once dessert was safely stowed in the refrigerator and Jensen had stopped waxing lyrical about the size of their kitchen, they found Kim struggling to extricate Jim from the grill in the back yard. He welcomed Jensen just as enthusiastically as Kim, although stuck to a hand shake rather than hugging. Then he sent Jared off to give Jensen 'the tour', reminding him loudly that, "The no-sex-in-the-house rule still applies, Boy! And don't you close that bedroom door either." which made Jensen blanche, and then burst out laughing as they climbed the stairs.  
  
Still, it gave Jared a chance to talk about how he'd come to live with the Beavers, about being forced out of his home but finding a new one. How they'd made him feel like family, not just a prospect needing room and board.  
  
Jensen didn't say much. He listened to the anecdotes, nodded in all the right places, and slipped his hand into Jared's when he started to get a little maudlin. They ended up making out at the top of the stairs, just out of sight, Jared's body pushing Jensen's hard up against the wall, except it was all about comfort and reassurance, despite making each other hard in the process.  
  
Jensen was quiet for most of the evening but started to warm up once the food started to make an appearance, helping Kim bring what looked like enough for eight people out to the big wooden table at the edge of the lawn. Jared perched on the raised flowerbed next to the grill, sipping at a beer, chatting with Jim, and smirking at Jensen every time he walked past.  
  
Then they sat and they ate, and everything was delicious. It felt like a relaxed family dinner. Jensen started to open up. It seemed to be all going so well. Until it wasn't.  
  
The sky started to darken and there was a nip in the air that they could only ignore for so long. All four of them pushed back their chairs and grabbed an empty plate or two from the table and headed inside. Jared went back out for a second trip, leaving the others to scrape the remains of ribs and chicken into the bin, and start stacking the dishwasher, casually chatting and laughing. Except when he came back inside he could feel waves of anxiety pouring off Jensen.  
  
Jim was prattling away and Kim was talking too but Jensen was stood rigid against the counter, looking between them with a confused look on his face. Jared went straight to him. "What is it?" he asked in a low voice, but Jensen just shook his head and tried to smile.  
  
"We were asking Jensen about what he wants to do now. Or at least once you guys are properly settled," Kim said chirpily.  
  
Jim nodded. "Career's an important thing. Career changes can be a real good thing too, of course." He gave Jared a less than subtle wink to let him know that he hadn't let the cat out of the bag, but Jared was more concerned about how Jensen seemed to draw away from him as the others talked.  
  
Jared kept his eyes on Jensen and the way he seemed to be willing the floor under his feet to open up and swallow him, and made a realization that took him aback. "I guess we haven't talked about that ourselves yet, have we?" The way that Jensen just shrugged and slid further away started to freak Jared's wolf out. Instead, he tried for reassuring. "'S okay. It's not like you have to decide tonight."  
  
Jensen looked up at him, completely perplexed. Jared shook his head. "What is it? Jen..."  
  
Jensen swallowed and said quietly, "I just thought..." He seemed to choke on the words, struggling to find the will to continue. Jared tried to ignore the fact that Kim had stopped what she was doing at the sink, and kept his focus on his mate. Jensen swallowed. "I just thought...because I'm...I didn't think..."  
  
Jared got it, suddenly. Somehow, Jensen had thought that Jared wanted him barefoot and pregnant, good for nothing but staying home so he could raise pups all day and get knotted all night. It was so ridiculous, Jared laughed, loud. Because it was so off the mark it was funny.  
  
Jensen's face flushed red and he turned to Kim and asked quietly, "Do you mind if I use the bathroom?"  
  
"Of course, Sweetheart. You know where it is?" Her voice was gentle but as Jensen nodded and scuttled out of the room she fixed Jared with a stare that could flay skin.  
  
Jared couldn't do anything but stand there with his mouth hanging open, until Kim muttered something inaudible but clearly offensive and the spell broke. Jared slumped onto one of the stools at the counter and covered his face with his hands. "What just...? Oh my God! I can't believe I'm fucking this up already."  
  
He couldn't understand how Jensen could think that, think that Jared was the kind of mate to deny him...well, anything! But worse, he couldn't understand how he had missed it. Thinking back, whenever they had got close to talking about what Jensen wanted to be when he was growing up or what he could see himself doing in the future, Jensen would go off on a tangent or steer the conversation carefully away so they would end up talking _around_ the subject, but never about it.  
  
Jared felt stupid. He thought that things were going so well, that they were getting to know each other. Now he realized he was only getting what Jensen wanted him to know. Jensen didn't trust him. Jared was letting him down and he had no clue he was even doing it.  
  
Panic hit him from nowhere, panic that Jensen would leave him, which was unlikely but not impossible. More probable was that he would whither away to nothing. He'd heard of that happening, mates trapped by the bond, unable to leave but so unhappy they just became a husk, doing nothing, feeling nothing. He was horrified at the thought that he'd trapped Jensen in a life that might rob him of all that vitality he'd had that first night Jared saw him, dancing with abandon, laughing like the world was spinning just for him.  
  
Without even thinking about it, Jared started to let his wolf out a little, just so he could hear his mate, make sure he hadn't run out without him noticing. Jared's hearing sharpened, and suddenly everything was in focus. Smells that had been just out of reach, assaulted his nose, and the quiet room was suddenly blaringly loud.  
  
Jared didn't really even need to focus, his senses zeroed in on Jensen without trying. He was sobbing. Hard, angry, silent sobs of humiliation and frustration. Jared's wolf howled and he was about to get up when he took a punch to the arm.  
  
It was hard, but really just enough to snap him back to the moment. Jared pulled his hands away from his face and glared at Kim who was trying to wag her finger at him. She couldn't quite manage to straighten her hand out, and instead cradled her fist to her chest, saying sternly, "I see what you're doing! Stop it! Give the poor boy his privacy, at least!"  
  
Jared held her gaze for a second longer, then backed down, his body sagging. He might be an Alpha but there was no arguing with that pixie cut, it was vicious. "God, I'm sorry. Sorry." He muttered.  
  
Kim walked around behind him, wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him back so she could rest her chin on his head. It looked like affection but it wasn't. Well, partly. Jared's heart was pounding and his wolf was desperately scrabbling around, trying to get Jared to go drag Jensen back.  
  
Kim knew it and knew just how to calm him. Getting Jared to submit to her sent a message to his wolf that, yes, he was an Alpha, and yes, Jared was his mate and needed him, but ultimately when Kim was in the room, she was the one in control.  
  
It was a pattern they'd established early on and made no difference now that Jared towered over her and could squash her tiny body like a bug. It was that fact that had made it so important in the first place.  
  
She shifted and laid her cheek against the side of his head. "You shouldn't have laughed, Jay. That was cruel."  
  
Jared tried to shake his head but she held him tight, so he mumbled out, "God, I know. I'm sorry. He just took me by surprise....I just can't believe he thought that of me."  
  
The hug started to feel a little more like a head lock, as Kim tightened her grip. "Okay first, stop apologizing to me. It's Jensen you should be groveling to. And second, this isn't about you! Stop with the self pity and start thinking about how you're going to fix this." She kissed him on the side of the head roughly and pushed him upright. "Now, get out. The pair of you." Jim looked up, chicken leg halfway to his mouth, all wide-eyed innocence. He was about to protest but Kim silenced him with a glare. "No. Out. Go clean that grill before it gets putrid like last time. I'll bring coffee out when it's ready."  
  
Jared trailed after Jim to the backyard, listening to him huff and bluster about it not being fair that he was in the doghouse when Jared was the one that had screwed up and that it was one time he'd left the grill to go funky and that was only because he'd had one beer too many and Jared should be the one cleaning it but goddamn, no-one is touching that grill but him.  
  
Jim had the presence of mind to grab a sweater on the way out but Jared was still in his shirtsleeves. He spent the time wishing he felt the cold more, so at least it would feel like some kind of punishment for being such a fool. Jim asked him questions about Jensen and their relationship, things he would never have normally asked. Jim was very aware that Jared had a hard time talking about anything personal and Jared had always appreciated it. But he appreciated him pushing too.  
  
Jim offered advice, talked about some of the difficulties he and Kim had come through, some of which Jared had been there to witness, and it helped. It was good to be reminded that his being bonded to Jensen just meant they were mates, having a relationship that worked. _That_ was going to take time.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Kim appeared with a tray filled with steaming mugs and the pecan pie the boys had brought for dessert. She glanced behind her and Jared followed her gaze to see Jensen hovering in the doorway.  
  
His eyes were a little red and he looked embarrassed more than anything. Part of Jared wanted to give him some space, let Jensen come to him in is own time so he didn't get upset. But it was easily overwhelmed but the other part that had Jared immediately taking long strides to his mate, practically lift him off the ground in a hug, and burying his face in Jensen's neck, begging for forgiveness. They stayed like that for a moment, both apologizing and kissing each other, until Jim cleared his throat loudly, and called out. "What did I say earlier about sex in the house?"  
  
Jensen huffed out a laugh, and rested his forehead on Jared's, before looking over and asking, "Something about, you wanted us to leave the door open?"  
  
  
~•~  
  
  
By the time they got home, it was late.  
  
Jensen had been okay over coffee, talking and smiling but he hadn't said a word in the car on the way back and Jared really didn't feel like pushing it. They turned into the parking garage, the tungsten light creating weird shadows in the car as Jared pulled up and parked. He turned off the engine and for some reason neither of them moved. They just sat, listening to the engine tick as it cooled.  
  
Until Jensen said, out of the blue, "Nursing."  
  
Jared shot a confused look at him, so Jensen swallowed and clarified, less confidently, "Um, that's what I wanted...I mean...that's what think I want to do. Be a nurse. With kids, maybe. I think."  
  
Jared's eyebrows shot up and he twisted in his seat to face his mate. "Oh! Oh that's...yeah. Yeah, I can see that."  
  
"You can?" Jensen looked a little surprised and wary.  
  
"Yes! I think you'd be great at that. You're really caring and you like taking care of people. Well...you take care of me, anyway." Jared ventured a smile and was happy to see Jensen smile back. "You know Kim works at a hospital, right? Maybe she could..."  
  
Jensen was already nodding. "Yeah, we talked a little about it."  
  
There was a moment of strained silence before Jared said, "I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this. It's my fault I know and I'm sorry..."  
  
Jensen reached over and took his hand. "We both suck at this, it's not just your fault. We just have to keep trying...and no more hiding anything."  
  
He smiled and squeezed Jared's hand but looked a little worried when Jared pulled it free and said, "Yeah. About that..."  
  
Jared reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out the official job offer Rob had handed him earlier that day. He tapped the edges of the envelope with his fingers before turning and placing it in Jensen's hands.  
  
He waited for Jensen to open it and start reading, before he asked, "So how do you feel about moving? Again."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one took a while. I'm going to try to keep up with the one-a-month thing but I also need to get my BB done as well, so...I'll do my best : )
> 
> Hopefully, y'all saw the retcon notice last time - Jared is now an ex baseball player, not football as previously hinted at. Also, I know nothing about baseball so if anyone can help me out with that it would be much appreciated. Like a lot.
> 
> Also...I'm so sorry about Issac sneaking in here : / It was supposed to be an OC but then he started talking...this is not going to be a crossover or anything, just...it's Issac! He's so cute! I couldn't help it!
> 
> All the love and cookies to somersault_j and skeletncloset for the wonderful beta jobs! Any remaining mistakes are mine, please point them out so I can fix them!


End file.
